


the one (for you)

by jerukjeju (matchaccino)



Category: ASTRO (Band)
Genre: Friends to Lovers, M/M, just jinwoo pining and being whipped for myungjun, myungjun has horrible luck with men, slight chacky
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-03-06
Updated: 2021-03-06
Packaged: 2021-03-12 14:27:55
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,284
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29885952
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/matchaccino/pseuds/jerukjeju
Summary: Myungjun somehow always has bad luck with guys. Jinwoo wouldn't dare to put the blame on Myungjun, though. He's a good guy. A really good guy. It's just no man that met him actually deserves him, and that frustrates Jinwoo.Alternatively, Myungjun dates people a lot and Jinwoo just wants to date his best friend.
Relationships: Kim Myungjun | MJ/Park Jinwoo | Jin Jin
Comments: 7
Kudos: 23





	the one (for you)

**Author's Note:**

> this is my first fic in a long time and its unedited so. please be kind with me im a gentle soul wah

This isn't the first time Myungjun comes home into their shared apartment in a state of being close to tears.

  
  


This has happened too many times actually. Jinwoo already knows what happened and what he needs to do, yet his heart always breaks a little at the sight. 

  
  


His best friend is a really bright person and anyone could see that. Jinwoo could recognize his dazzling smile even from miles away. It's not even exaggerating to say he's like the sun, giving warmth to everyone near him. But Jinwoo knows that Myungjun is much more sensitive than he looks, and he promised himself to always be the one to chase away the dark clouds from covering the sunshine Myungjun.

  
  


Although to be honest, he's kind of tired hearing the same problem again and again.

  
  


"I got dumped."

  
  


Myungjun somehow always has bad luck with guys. Jinwoo wouldn't dare to put the blame on Myungjun, though. He's a good guy. A really good guy. It's just no man that met him actually deserves him, and that frustrates Jinwoo.

  
  


"H-he told me that he doesn't feel the same anymore, and that I need to find someone who could keep up with my personality.. w-was I being too clingy again, Jinwoo? I promised myself I won't—"

  
  


Without a word, Jinwoo pulls Myungjun into his arms. He lets Myungjun sob into his shirt—that was comfortably fresh out of the laundry a few hours ago, now it's wet with snot and tears—until he calms down. It's the same thing all over again, he thought while gently patting Myungjun's back.

  
  


"I'm sorry, hyung." He said the same words again, sounding like a broken record. "You deserve better than him." 

  
  


"Do I?"

  
  


"Of course you do. Look at me." Jinwoo cradled Myungjun's face, gently lifting it so they're now seeing eye to eye. Myungjun's eyes are so mesmerizing that no matter how many times Jinwoo has looked at them he still gets lost. Myungjun is so pretty even when he's crying.

  
  


"You're an amazing person. You're talented, you naturally make everyone around you happy, and.." Jinwoo inhales a short breath. "You're  _ really _ pretty."

  
  


(his voice dropped an octave as he said the last words, but thankfully Myungjun doesn't seem to notice.)

  
  


"Mm.." Myungjun rubs both his eyes, and Jinwoo lets go of his face. "You might be right."

  
  


"No, I am absolutely right." Jinwoo crosses his arms in front of his chest, his tone firm. "You're too precious for them, hyung. They don't deserve you!"

  
  


"Oh, my dear Jinwoo." Myungjun is smiling now, although a little, his hands reaching to cup Jinwoo's cheeks. Jinwoo tries not to tense up at the contact, at least trying not to make it obvious. "You say that all the time! Would anyone ever deserve me?"

  
  


No, Jinwoo thought, barely suppressing the urge to say it aloud. "Of course someone does. It's just... not him."

  
  


"But I really liked him.." Myungjun pouted, his eyes glistening again. "He's really kind and sweet, not as sweet as you, though. But still... how could he—"

  
  


"Ssh." Jinwoo shushed the older, pressing his finger to the pretty lips that he has always wanted to kiss. "Why don't you wash up first and we can talk about this later? You'll feel better after a shower."

  
  


"Only if we can watch movies together." Myungjun speaks against Jinwoo's finger, his lips tickling Jinwoo's skin causing the younger to pull it back. 

  
  


"Yes yes, anything you want." Jinwoo smiled. "I'll make ramyeon for the both of us, so go."

  
  


Myungjun's eyes light up, and he plants a kiss on Jinwoo's cheek before running to the bathroom like a child. Myungjun turned around halfway to flash his brightest grin and a thumbs up. "You're the best!"

  
  


"Don't run like that, are you a kid?" Jinwoo only huffs as Myungjun disappears to the bathroom. As soon as the older is out of sight, he could feel his face heat up.

  
  


He touches his cheek, pressing his palm against it before slapping himself lightly. Jinwoo could still feel Myungjun's soft lips against his cheek, and he wants it to go away. Myungjun has always been the affectionate one, casually draping himself all over Jinwoo and even pressing kisses on his cheeks or forehead every now and then. And yet as much as he enjoys it, Jinwoo couldn't get used to it—the way Myungjun makes his insides feel funny and his heart drumming in his chest. And the fact that Myungjun could do it casually while Jinwoo's heart does a flip because of it.

  
  


Sighing, Jinwoo walks into the kitchen, trying to empty his mind. As he puts the pot full of water and turns the stove on, he wonders when will this cycle break.

  
  
  


\---

  
  
  


Myungjun likes being in love. He likes meeting someone new, going on dates, sharing first kisses and more intimate things. It was never hard for Myungjun to find a man, his pretty face and cheerful personality naturally drawing people into him. And yet no matter how much Myungjun loved, none of them have ever ended well. Even his bad luck with guys—whether he realizes it or not—won't stop him from falling in love. 

  
  


Jinwoo is in love with Myungjun. He doesn't even remember since when, Jinwoo remembers loving Myungjun for as long as they had known each other. They first met in middle school, quickly being attached at the hip and even decided to live together after they graduated from high school. Jinwoo only realized Myungjun's dating tendencies then, going out with people seems to be the way he deals with the stress college life has burdened him. 

  
  


Jinwoo puts up with him better than anyone. He'd pick up Myungjun from horrible dates, take him to Mcdonalds for an unhealthy dinner and listen to him rant about yet another horrible man he met. He stays with Myungjun during the bad break ups, not leaving his side until Myungjun is his usual sunshine self again—all while wishing Myungjun could just cut it out already and be with the person who would love him through thick and thin (Jinwoo).

  
  


People have been saying that Jinwoo is too patient for his own good, and Jinwoo knows that. Yet he couldn't say anything as Myungjun gleefully prepares himself for another date.

  
  


"Do I look good?" Myungjun turns to Jinwoo who is sitting on his bed, giving him his signature smile. Jinwoo eyes Myungjun from his head to his toes, trying not to be too distracted by the color of Myungjun's lip tint.

  
  


"You always do." Jinwoo answers shortly, going back into his phone before he could stare too much and not stop. Myungjun lets out a sound of satisfaction. "Aigoo, my sweet Jinwoo, you always flatter me~"

  
  


Jinwoo chuckles. Everytime Myungjun calls him  _ his _ he dies a little on the inside. 

  
  


"I'll be off then." Myungjun stands up, fixing his hair one last time. 

  
  


"Take care. Will you be here for dinner?"

  
  


"That depends on how well the date will go." Myungjun quirks his eyebrows suggestively and Jinwoo just rolls his eyes. "I'm kidding! I will."

  
  


"It's fine if you don't." Jinwoo said, not really meaning it. "Just let me know." 

  
  


"Of course." Myungjun boops Jinwoo's nose with his finger. "I'll text you, 'kay?"

  
  


"Okay."

  
  


Jinwoo walks Myungjun to the door and waves him goodbye—Myungjun keeps waving back until he's out of Jinwoo's line of sight—and goes back inside. Internally, he doesn't know whether he hopes Myungjun's date goes well or not. Sighing, he reaches into his phone in his pocket and dials a number.

  
  


_ "What happened to you and Myungjun hyung now?" _

  
  


Jinwoo sighs. "At least say hello first, Minhyuk."

  
  


_ "Why should I bother? You only call to talk about him anyway." _ somehow Jinwoo could see Minhyuk rolling his eyes, and he feels kind of bad.

  
  


"Nothing, just.. he's on a date again. I feel like shit and I know I shouldn't be. Again." Jinwoo falls into the couch with an  _ oomph _ and lets his legs dangle over the edge. 

  
  


_ "Didn't he just broke up like, a week ago?" _

  
  


"A week and 3 days."

  
  


_ "Wow, you counted." _

  
  


Jinwoo hums. It became a habit for him to subconsciously count the days it takes for Myungjun to move on to another lover. The fastest was 3 days and the longest was almost a month. "He sure could swipe guys off their feet so easily… including me… especially me! I'm the one who's the most in love with him, this is unfair." 

  
  


Minhyuk chuckles.  _ "Well he doesn't know that while those other guys had the guts to ask Myungjun out, so who's winning exactly?" _

  
  


"But he's living with me! I'm closer to him than those other dudes will ever be."

  
  


_ "And for how long would that last?" _

  
  


Jinwoo groans. "I called you to cheer me up, not this."

  
  


_ "Seriously, what else do you expect me to say?"  _ Jinwoo could hear a door click on the other line.  _ "Hold on, Dongmin's home." _

  
  


Minhyuk's voice became distant, and Jinwoo could hear his cheery voice talking to his boyfriend. He had always envied Minhyuk for being able to get past the pinning stage and dating the second most gorgeous man to ever walk on this earth—second, because Myungjun is the first. 

  
  


_ "I'm back. What was I going to say? Oh, right. Just ask him out already. He can only go on so many dates until he finally finds the one and you're stuck pinning for him forever." _

  
  


Jinwoo's heart sinks at the thought of Myungjun settling in with a man that isn't him. "I don't want that… but i'm scared! What if he doesn't feel the same? No, he  _ obviously _ doesn't feel the same. If he does he would date me, not those random men!"

  
  


_ "That… might not be the case but you're gonna have to figure that out yourself. And so what, even if he doesn't love you back at least you said it. Better than hiding it forever." _

  
  


"What if things change between us?"

  
  


_ "Oh my god, hyung. It won't. You two have gone through so much together do you think that would be enough to set you two apart?"  _ Jinwoo hears rustling noises and suddenly it's a different person speaking.  _ "Hey hyung. Seconded. I think you should just confess already." _

  
  


"Hey Dongmin. I don't know if you saying it would convince me better than Minhyuk, but thanks."

  
  


Dongmin only chuckles. 

  
  


_ "No but seriously, how many times have we had this conversation? Don't you want this to end?"  _ now it's Minhyuk speaking on the phone again.

  
  


"Of course I—wait, am I on speaker?"

  
  


_ "Yeah. Dongmin wants to hear." _

  
  


"This is a breach of privacy."

  
  


_ "And you're stealing our precious time together so hurry up now."  _ Dongmin chimes in.

  
  


"Fine, geez. I… yeah, maybe I'll finally do it." Jinwoo runs his hand through his hair. "For real this time. Maybe. I don't know."

  
  


_ "Come on. When Myungjun hyung comes crying to you next time, just comfort him like you usually do. And when the mood is right…"  _ Minhyuk clears his throat and proceeds to speak in the most dramatic way possible.  _ "Myungjun hyung, do you not realize? The only one who won't break your heart is me. I love you…" _

  
  


"Ugh." Jinwoo cringes. "I won't say it like that. Besides, what's the right mood like anyway?"

  
  


_ "You'll know."  _ Dongmin says.  _ "You'll just.. feel it." _

  
  


"Wow. very helpful."

  
  


_ "No no, he's right. You'll know."  _ Minhyuk assures, though Jinwoo isn't sure because Minhyuk just agrees with anything Dongmin says by default.  _ "We have to go now. Tell me if anything interesting happens, ok? bye!" _

  
  


Minhyuk ends the call before Jinwoo could say anything. Just then, he received a chat notification from Myungjun. He sent him a picture of him sitting in a nice cafe, with his date sitting across the table, smiling.  _ "Going well so far! ♡"  _ Was what sent under it. Jinwoo saves the pic and crops Myungjun's date out. He didn't even take a clear look on the other man but Jinwoo decides he's a jerk and he hates him.

  
  


He feels jealousy building up in his body, but he tries to swallow the feeling. He knows how this will play out, because Jinwoo is the only man that deserves Myungjun. Now he only needs to wait.

  
  


\---

  
  


Jinwoo is screwed.

  
  


Turns out Myungjun liked his date so much that they went on a second, and a third, and Myungjun even brought him home once. Jinwoo stayed in his room all day after they exchanged a few words—Jinwoo not even bothering to remember the dude's name—and the one time he went out he caught them almost making out on the couch. 

  
  


The image still burns in Jinwoo's mind and despite being a nowhere near violent person he wants to punch something (most likely himself) when he remembers it because it should be  _ him  _ with Myungjun sitting on  _ his _ lap with  _ their  _ lips pressed together, god damn it.

  
  


This is not his first time watching Myungjun being in a relationship but Minhyuk's words keeps haunting him—What if he's actually the one this time? Is he really going to let his precious Myungjun be taken away from him?

  
  


He taps his foot impatiently to the floor, glancing to the clock for the nth time that night. Myungjun had gone on another date, and Jinwoo isn't even sure if he's going to come home or not. He doesn't even know why he's waiting, but sleep won't come to him either. He glances at his phone, debating if he should send a message, but he decided against it.

  
  


What could they be doing now? Myungjun said they're going to a fancy dinner that night. Myungjun looked so pretty and it was not meant for him. Jinwoo would kill to take Myungjun on that kind of date himself but he's nothing but a broke college student. Maybe he doesn't deserve Myungjun after all, because clearly someone could make him happier than he does. Myungjun must be really happy right now, doesn't he?

  
  


Jinwoo could feel tears well up in his eyes. His chest feels tight and he hits it with his fist lightly, telling his stupid little heart to stop messing with him already. He heaves a defeated sigh and curls up on the couch, making himself smaller.

  
  


"Myungjun hyung." He called out with a low voice, knowing that his love of his life won't hear him anyway. 

  
  


"Why are you doing this to me.."

  
  
  


\---

  
  
  


"Jinwoo?"

  
  


Jinwoo could feel Myungjun shaking him awake gently, his voice soft. "Why are you sleeping here?"

  
  


Jinwoo's eyes flutter open, and he meets the pair of prettiest eyes he have ever seen. "Mmm.. I was waiting for you?"

  
  


"What? You shouldn't have." Myungjun strokes Jinwoo's cheek gently, and Jinwoo leans to the touch like a puppy being given attention. "What if you catch a cold? You didn't even turn the heater on."

  
  


"Because I wanted to see you." Jinwoo said. "And I was afraid that you'll come home sad… if he hurts you… who would be here for you but me?"

  
  


Myungjun blinks. "What?"

  
  


"Nevermind. I'm just babbling, aren't I." Jinwoo smiles, his sleepy brain barely functioning to form coherent words. "Did you have fun.. with your boyfriend?"

  
  


"He's not my boyfriend yet, silly." Myungjun runs his hand through Jinwoo's hair, fingers gently scratching his scalp. "And yes. I did."

  
  


"Mmm. Good." Jinwoo closes his eyes, melting to Myungjun's touch. "If he hurts you, I'm going to punch him."

  
  


Myungjun chuckles. "You're literally the least violent person I know."

  
  


"For you I'd do anything." Jinwoo opens his eyes and finds Myungjun staring at him. "I mean it. I hate seeing you get hurt and even though you're still pretty when you cry my heart still hurts looking at it…"

  
  


Jinwoo slowly looks away, because what is he even saying at this point. He could still feel Myungjun's gaze on his face and he could feel his cheeks burning up.

  
  


"Thank you, Jinwoo." Myungjun said after a beat of silence, his hand trailing down to Jinwoo's back. "For always putting up with me."

  
  


"Don't mention it." Jinwoo's eyes close again, half because he feels sleep creeping up to him and half because he's still embarrassed. "I'd put up with you forever, even."

  
  


Myungjun laughs, tucking Jinwoo's hair away from his face. "Forever? do you really like me that much?" 

  
  


Jinwoo nods silently.

  
  


"I appreciate that, but you can't stick with me forever. You need to find someone too, Jinwoo. And then I can finally stop bothering you."

  
  


Jinwoo fell silent. How can he find someone else when the person of his dreams is right here?

  
  


"Are you going to leave me?" Jinwoo's voice grew weaker. 

  
  


"Jinnie." Jinwoo could feel the sofa cushion dip, and Jinwoo moved to rest his head on Myungjun's lap. "What are you talking about? I'm not going anywhere."

  
  


"But one day you will find someone… and then you'll move out… then I can't see you everyday anymore."

  
  


Myungjun chuckles. "You're so clingy, you know that?"

  
  


"Only to you."Jinwoo mumbles. He thinks he's talking too much at this point, but he can't stop. His half asleep brain doesn't care.

  
  


Myungjun gently moves Jinwoo's bangs away and plants a kiss on his forehead. Jinwoo's eyes open to see Myungjun's face a few centimeters away from him, his hair tickling Jinwoo's cheeks. Jinwoo swallows, suddenly breathing feels hard for him. Few seconds feels like an eternity until Myungjun pulls back, smiling down at him.

  
  


"I take it back." Myungjun says. "You can stay with me forever, so don't cry."

  
  


Jinwoo sniffles. "I'm not crying."

  
  


"Okay, okay."

  
  


Jinwoo slowly closes his eyes, letting Myungjun play with his hair again. His tired brain failed to notice the tint of red on Myungjun's cheeks, and the sound of heartbeat that isn't just his own. 

  
  


With the comfort of Myungjun's presence, Jinwoo slowly lulled to sleep.

  
  


\---

  
  


Jinwoo wakes up on the couch the next morning, his blanket draped over him. He sits up and yawns, rubbing the sleep away from his eyes. It took him a while to gain his consciousness before realizing that the apartment is too quiet. He looked around from his spot, Myungjun is nowhere to be found. 

  
  


"Myungjun hyung?" He called out. No answer.

  
  


Confused, he reaches his phone to check the time—the battery is full, Myungjun must've plugged it in for him—and what he noticed instead is a message notification from Myungjun.

  
  


_ Hi! didn't want to wake you up but I'm going out for a bit, Kyungwan said he wanted to meet >< I'm sorry! I'll see you later, ok? ^^ <3 _

  
  


Jinwoo drops his phone on the table screen down. It was sent half an hour ago. If only he were awake sooner, he could…

  
  


Could what?

  
  


It's not like Jinwoo could stop Myungjun, he can do whatever he wants. He doesn't even dare confessing his feelings to Myungjun, let alone asking him out, so what gives him the right to intervene?

  
  


Jinwoo grunts and pulls the blanket over his head. He curses himself for being a coward, hopelessly in love and yet too scared to start anything. His heart feels heavy in his chest—it hurts but Jinwoo thinks he deserved it anyway.

  
  


He thinks back to last night, Myungjun promising not to leave him and kissing him on the forehead. To Jinwoo it meant the world, Myungjun's tender care and affection. And yet to Myungjun it's nothing, just another normal thing he'd do to his best friend.

  
  


Best friend. Jinwoo chuckles. He used to think that being Myungjun's best friend is everything, a warrant that Myungjun will stay by his side forever. But he realized it's not the case, and he won't forever be Myungjun's favorite person. 

  
  


He closes his eyes, trying to get some more sleep because that seems to be the only way to shut his mind—and that's when his phone suddenly rang. He groans, it's probably just Minhyuk asking for updates. He ignores his phone without being bothered to check it and starts counting sheeps in his head. His phone fell silent for a few seconds only for it to ring again, and again. Jinwoo's patience finally runs out and he reaches for his phone to silent it.

  
  


Well, that was what he meant to do, until he saw  _ Junnie hyung _ 's name on his screen. He almost dropped his phone out of surprise and hurriedly answered the call.

  
  


"H-hello?"

  
  


" _ Oh, Junnie! You finally picked up." _ Myungjun's voice was trembling and Jinwoo noticed, even if Myungjun tried his best to hide it. " _ Did I wake you up?" _

  
  


"No it's fine. where are you right now?" He stands up and walks to his bedroom, looking for his hoodie. "I'll come get you."

  
  


_ "How did you.." _ Myungjun lets out a weak chuckle.  _ "I'm at that park not so far from our place. You know, the one with the pond?" _

  
  


"I do. I'll be there in 5 minutes, alright?" Jinwoo puts on his hoodie while his free hand keeps holding the phone close to his ear. "Wait for me."

  
  


Myungjun hums and ends the call. Jinwoo pocketed his wallet and hurried outside. He started running as fast as he could, the only thing in his mind was his hyung's sad voice. He sounded so excited yesterday, what the hell happened? Jinwoo curses himself for hoping that Myungjun's date would fail, because Myungjun sounded so broken and it hurts him too.

  
  


As he reached the park, he looked around fervently for his best friend. He spotted Myungjun sitting on a bench alone, and he jogged towards him. By the time he arrives he's a panting mess, and Myungjun gives him a worried look.

  
  


"Hey." Jinwoo greets. "Sorry to make you wait."

  
  


"You didn't need to run here…" Myungjun pats the empty spot beside him. "Here, sit down. Catch your breath first."

  
  


Jinwoo does as told. Myungjun's eyes are red, as if he has been holding back his tears. Jinwoo felt a pang in his chest and he moved closer to Myungjun, letting their shoulders touch. They sat in silence, Jinwoo waiting for Myungjun to say something. He's used to this—he never asks questions, only waits for Myungjun to 

let it all out on him.

  
  


"Why does this keep happening to me?"

  
  


Myungjun rests his head on Jinwoo's shoulder and Jinwoo lets him. "What happened?"

  
  


"He used me." Myungjun chuckled bitterly. "He.. he wasn't on good terms with his boyfriend and he cheated on me. We accidentally bumped into him and… god, Jinnie. I feel horrible."

  
  


"What the-" Jinwoo feels anger building up in him. If he ever sees that man again he'll never let him walk away in one piece. "I'm sorry, please continue."

"I really liked him, you know? I thought he was the one. But then again this wasn't the first time I felt this way and it ended up the same anyway. Maybe I should just… give up."

  
  


"Hyung, it's not your fault." Jinwoo says, again. What's next? Telling him that his date doesn't deserve Myungjun anyway? and then going back home and binge watch movies and see Myungjun date another man in a few days again? Is it really going to be the same thing again and again?

  
  


Jinwoo swallows, weighing his options. He turns to Myungjun who was already staring at him, a pair of beautiful curious eyes meeting his own and Jinwoo feels like breaking down because Myungjun is very,  _ very _ pretty. He could feel his protective walls breaking down and fuck it—he's just going to do it.

  
  


"But you really should stop going out with those random guys."

  
  


Myungjun blinked, clearly not expecting that answer. "Huh?"

  
  


"Hyung." He got up and stood in front of Myungjun, taking deep breaths before continuing. "I'm… I'm right here."

  
  


"What do you—"

  
  


"I love you." Jinwoo cuts Myungjun's words and lowers his head, not daring to meet Myungjun's eyes anymore. "I love you, hyung. No one knows you better than I do, and this might sound narcissistic on my part but I think I'm the best person for you. Sorry if this is a bad timing but I just… I couldn't just sit back and watch anymore. I promised I'll stay by your side no matter what, didn't I?" 

  
  


Silence. Jinwoo kind of expected this but it doesn't make it any less scary. "I don't.. need an answer right away." He raises his head slowly to find a wide eyed Myungjun staring at him and he wishes the ground could just swallow him whole right here right now. "But please consider it…?"

  
  


"Jinwoo."

  
  


"Yeah?"

  
  


"Let's just." Myungjun stands up, not meeting Jinwoo's eyes. "Let's just go home for now, okay?"

  
  


Oh.

  
  


Myungjun gets up and walks away—he didn't even answer him.

  
  


Their walk back home was silent. Jinwoo's thoughts run wild and he wishes he could just disappear at that moment—why won't Myungjun answer him even in a joking manner? Did he screw up? Does Myungjun hate him now?

  
  


They both reach the apartment, Myungjun going in first and Jinwoo follows behind him. He closes the door and Myungjun stands still, his gaze empty.

  
  


"Hyung."

  
  


Myungjun shakes his head and offers him a small smile. "Sorry, Jinwoo. I want to be alone right now."

  
  


Without saying any other words, Myungjun walks into his bedroom and shuts the door. Jinwoo's legs felt so weak suddenly and he let himself fall to the floor.

  
  


Well, he has done it now. Myungjun has never asked to be left alone before. Maybe he shouldn't have confessed while Myungjun's heart is still so broken. And yet he claims to be the one that understands Myungjun the most. Jinwoo lies face down on the floor, quietly laughing at his sad sad self. He wishes the earth to just reclaim him right now.

  
  


He's going to blame Minhyuk for this.

  
  


He stayed still for what felt like forever—while it had only been a few minutes—when he heard a door being opened. He raised his head to see Myungjun who took a step back in surprise as soon as he saw the younger's position.

  
  


"What... are you doing?"

  
  


"I thought you wanted to be alone?" Jinwoo questioned Myungjun back instead of answering. Myungjun sighs.

  
  


"I changed my mind." Myungjun steps closer and sits cross legged in front of Jinwoo. "We need to talk."

  
  


"Oh." Jinwo pushes himself up and grunts, only now realizing that his body is already starting to ache from his awkward position. "Ouch. Yeah. Okay."

  
  


They both sat facing each other in complete silence. Myungjun kept quiet even though he's the one who initiated the conversation—he picks at the edge of his pants, something he does a lot when he's nervous. Jinwoo patiently waits for Myungjun to say something, ignoring the sound of his own heart drumming in his ears.

  
  


"So."

  
  


Myungjun's voice almost made Jinwoo jump. "Yeah?"

  
  


"About earlier." Myungjun raises his head, finally facing Jinwoo. His voice was timid, and Myungjun's eyes kept shaking away from Jinwoo's gaze. "Did you mean it?"

  
  


"Yes." Jinwoo answers a little too quickly. Myungjun's eyes widen at the bold answer, and Jinwoo feels heat rising on his cheeks. "I-I mean it. I want to go out with you."

  
  


Myungjun lets out a small chuckle and Jinwoo tilts his head in confusion. What's so funny about this?

  
  


"Sorry, I just… how do you even feel that way when you know how much of a mess I am?" Myungjun smiles weakly. "You surely are something. To tell you the truth, Jinwoo… I've always liked you too."

  
  


Now it's Jinwoo's turn to be speechless.

  
  


"You.. what?"

  
  


"You're the one who understands me the most. And you always put up with me. I don't think I can find anyone else like you Jinwoo." The older scratches his cheek, his face growing redder by the passing seconds. "And that's exactly why I'm scared."

  
  


Jinwoo lets out a sound of confusion. Scared? But why? What was there to be scared of? Myungjun continues as if he could read Jinwoo's mind. "You know how terrible I am in relationships, Jinwoo. Nothing has ever ended well for me. And what are the chances that it won't happen with you, too?" Myungjun paused before continuing. "I can't afford to lose you, Jinwoo. You're the one I cherish the most in this world. I don't want to step up our relationship if it only means we'll be separated at the end. I thought you deserve better than someone like me." 

  
  


"Hyung." Jinwo tentatively reaches out to Myungjun's hand and clasps it when Myungjun doesn't pull it back. "I'm not one of those guys, I'm  _ me _ . I spent years of my life loving you and I won't ever leave you."

  
  


Myungjun stares at their hands, and looks up to Jinwoo. "But what if I screw up?"

  
  


"Then we'll fix it, like how we always do." Jinwoo tries to put on a reassuring smile, and from the way Myungjun's face softens he assumes it worked. "I'm ready to love you through thick and thin. We've been together for almost half my life, how hard would it be?"

  
  


Myungjun snorts. "You sound like you're proposing to me."

  
  


"I mean, I would love to marry you someday."

  
  


"Aren't you skipping an important step there?" Myungjun pulls his hand back, only to intertwine their fingers together. "You know, the part where you become my boyfriend and such."

  
  


"So do you…" Jinwoo swallowed. "Do you want to?" 

  
  


"I'm.. still a little scared, but yeah." Myungjun lets his gaze fall to the floor again. "Let's just take it slow, yeah?"

  
  


"You know I'm good at being slow."

  
  


Myungjun hits Jinwoo's arm, but Jinwoo knows it has no ill intent because Myungjun has a big smile on his face. "Can you stop joking? I was being serious."

  
  


"I was, too. I'll go with your pace. Let's figure things out together, I'm not going to rush anything." Jinwoo declared. "I'm going to be the best boyfriend you've ever had. And the last."

  
  


Myungjun didn't say anything. Instead he leans his head into Jinwoo's chest, and Jinwoo wraps his arms around him. Myungjun sighs in content. "If only I knew it was this easy."

  
  


Jinwoo silently agrees. He wonders why he couldn't do it sooner—but that doesn't matter. Myungjun is finally his.

  
  


Wait, he is, isn't he?

  
  


"So we're boyfriends now?"

  
  


Myungjun's shoulders shakes as he giggles. "Are you seriously asking that now?" he raises his head, smiling amusedly at Jinwoo's unsure expression. "Yes, Jinnie. We're dating now."

  
  


"Can I kiss you?" Jinwoo spoke without thinking, his head still in a daze after the sudden confession and finding out that his feelings are reciprocated. 

  
  


Myungjun raised his eyebrows. "Wow, whatever happened to taking it slow."

  
  


"I-I'm sorry. If you don't want to just f—"

  
  


His words were cut short by Myungjun closing the distance between them. He wraps his arms around Jinwoo's shoulder, pushing his weight against the younger. Jinwoo places one hand on the floor to support himself, the other hand resting on Myungjun's hip. He kisses back, and he could feel Myungjun smiling into their kiss. Myungjun's lips are softer than what Jinwoo had imagined and his raspberry chapstick tastes sweet, it feels so natural despite it being their first kiss, like everything was already meant to be.

  
  


"I love you." Jinwoo breathes out as they parted. "I love you so much, Junnie."

  
  


Myungjun giggles at the nickname. He places a chaste kiss on Jinwoo's lips, letting their foreheads touch against each other.

  
  


"I love you too, Jinnie."

  
  


  
  
  
  
  


**Author's Note:**

> my first astro fic, yay! i've only gotten into them really recently and i fell for myungjin's chemistry so much that it motivated me to write for the first time in months.....  
> thanks for reading this and i hope you enjoyed it! i just opened a [twitter](https://mobile.twitter.com/mygjnw) account for dumping all my rps works and silly little thoughts so hit me up there if you want to! you might end up seeing me draw more than write because that's what i'm better at heh


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